Reflections

God is a name man has given to the answer of the question "what created the universe, the world and everything?"No matter how grateful or resentful you might be of your existence, it has no influence on your being. god is powerless. those who believe in the "almighty" cannot find the strength to trust themselves. the only real accomplishment of this noble concept is its accentuatuation of our mannerisms and effect in dialogue, or monologue. a tool of emphasis used verbatim or literatim. expressions like "God, damn it" or "god! i hate it". Faith makes life easier. I don't need it.


Destiny is a concoction of the cowardly and resigned.
Those who believe,lack the strength to fight circumstance. like water takes the shape of the container, they adjust to environment. the conformists. blame destiny and look the other way. it is much easier. I don't need to.

another fragmential consequence of the immaculate concept of destiny is the saying "whatever happens will be for the best" illogical. absurd. abhorrent. god i hate it. how can you know what's best if you don't know all your options? you, only you, choose what's best. the only possible way of knowing your options is to explore and explore in completion. else there is no use in exploration at all. obtain finality and choose. I choose to.

Love. a concept common man has come to idealize. idealizations are unattainable. else they won't be ideal. satisfaction is the only measure. following your idealizations is the only way for attainment, when the satisfaction is superlative.love exists and is far from ideal. the bond between a mother and her child is common proof. if you explain this relationship, you know what "louuve" is. mother-child relationship is of an instinctive nature. like reflexes. if you have any idea of evolutionary biology, you will know what a conditional relfex is ; when you learn to recognize the stimuli hitherto uncoded in your genes, you develop a consequential "learnt" relfex.

love is simply a hormonal imbalance, an excess of oxyotocin, mostly. childbirth in a woman releases hormones instinctively. your mind is the trigger in other "lovey-dovey" relationships. the hypothallamus in your cerebrum, the secretory gland. hence, your mind controls the secretion of such hormones.

you control.
when your under the influence, you feel. past experiences dictate love is work. to maintain feeling one has to avoid getting used to it. you can lose love just as easily. people who believe in destiny are fickle. they'll go with the flow and claim the "good" feeling feels right, hence it must be in the stars! bah.. (advice :- if you are already in a relationship and feel yourself attracted to someone else, recognize the attraction and put your feelings on hold. get used to them. they'll die out. its upto you really, if u think you stand to lose more than you'd like. don't do it. if you don't. go ahead. its that simple.)
its all in the mind. you are in control. live by excuses if it makes life easier. *puke*

Contempt: the elation you get when you tell yourself "i'm better than you". haha. you egoless imbecile, you are pathetic.

Conceit: vanity. blatant presumption. obnoxious. you are the loser.

Selfishness: an instinct, it was necessary for self preservation in the neanderthal age. redundant now. unnecessary. you will ultimately end up surrounding yourself with people like you. you'll seldom find peace, unless you take sanyas in an old age home. aged and old. enjoy your peace that you've struggled so hard to attain. "fruits of toil and labour are sweet". for your sake, i sincerely hope that is true.

second chances.
depends on you. solely. whether you choose to give yourself another chance or not. whether you can forgive yourself and take action to rectify. regardless of what you've already lost by your actions.. atleast you can grant yourself the feeling of gratification of reform. regardless of whether people who have been compromised by your actions still believe in you. I would much rather feel remorse than be able to define it.

Stop being a loser. Lose your illusions.
signing off
Aditya.

Disclaimer : this post is purely an expression of my disgust. I am not subtle.

Aurora

so it is
dark sky and thunder
dark clouds and night, darker
storm. hail storm. perfect storm
and i put out my and to feel.

The fire burns inside
burning still, and brighter
cold comfort, crystals of ice
strike my hand. I feel

the comfort in the sound of your voice.
the comfort that you felt in mine.
passion, with the fervour of steam,
the climax of fire and ice.
we shone like the forever stone,
a diamond and its blinding shine.

we were
a ship in a bottle set sail
and tossed upon rough seas
see at last, the roughness is past,
the water is austere and azure, at last.
let us now forget the breeze.

moments of completeness and more
all that we've struggled for
moments of joy in our sacred place
where we made love in purple haze

we made love and purple haze.


and so it is.
the colder water.
the fire warmer.

come, feel the rain again.
come breathe the fire again.

Rollercoaster Ride

found a journal i maintained a long while ago. found this vial of verse among fond memories. in the days where dreams reigned supreme, wrote this when i was fourteen.

Rollercoaster Ride

I sat here and she lied there
on the bed, her open hair
I rose up and she watched me
I came near her (have mercy!)
She didn't move away
instead, began to sway
and tremble with my touch
with a magnitude as such
that she couldn't resist but kiss,
and kiss indeed.. intense
I am grateful, thank you Miss
She said, "Don't be that Dense!"
For tonight we give in.
We give in to our lust.
rejoice, in this deadly sin.
after all, we are one, our bodies dust.

All the Passion, the fury
of the night, the night is still young.
don't stop, let love be the jury.
Miss, "a hunter is your tongue"
and i proceed, taken your advice
down your breasts, your navel
absorb this paradise
where'd love dwell.

Your skin.. soft
your breasts, aloft.
you twinge here and there
our shadows on the walls
and our hands everywhere

estranged ways, our bodies entangle
beyond the bed,
your legs dangle,
and the insync of our bodies
tonight's enchanted

and you kicked me there itself.
"Good morning!"
back to earth I landed.